Movie Vibes

My wonderful sister phoned me up last night and asked if I’d be keen to go watch a movie. Seeing as I was missing derby, my evening was wide open… Sooooo… Sister Date Wooo Hooo!

Trying to decide what movie to watch was almost impossible. They were either starting too early, too late or we’d watched them. Eventually my mom, two sisters and I eliminated every movie until there was only one option left. Vampire Academy. Yes. You read that right… We decided on a movie called VAMPIRE ACADEMY! (click for the trailer) All that went through my mind was ‘How bad could it be? It can’t be worse than Twilight. Right?’

Boy was I in for a big surprise.

I was going to write a blog about how epic it was and everyone should watch this amazing piece of art because I’m a bitch like that sometimes. Sadly I was struck down with guilt and decided I wouldn't prank you guys. It would have been way too mean, even for me.

Vampire Academy was possibly the worst thing I have ever watched in my entire life. Including Twilight, give me the sparkly vamps any day! I think Sharknado (click for the trailer) had better acting than this load of rubbish and was way more entertaining.

You know how some movies should be good but because the acting is so bad they are horrible. This is NOT one of those movies. Everything about this movie is just down right awful and nothing could save it. Except maybe tequila… A LOT OF TEQUILA! If I was pee in my pants kind of crazy drunk, maybe, just maybe I would have found it the slightest bit interesting.

The most entertaining part of the entire movie was the expression on the faces of my sisters as they cringed in horror and mocked the really awful script. Oh and my slush puppie… My slushie was delicious.

To make it even worse the movie ends in a way you know for sure there will be a sequel. Vampire Academy 2, I’m having nightmares about it already.

The movie is based on a series of six books (oh Lord! SIX!) written by some lady named Richelle Mead. (On behalf of humanity I would just like to say Richelle Mead, you bitch.) I could have spent those 104 minutes of my life doing something way more pleasurable like get a tooth pulled or have an enema.

Let me save you some time and money. This movie is a load of shit. 
Do NOT watch it. 
I don’t care how bored you are. Anything else will be more entertaining than Vampire Academy.

If you choose to ignore me and watch it anyway. I have no sympathy for you. You are a sadist and deserve to suffer.

That is all.