Common Sayings: Origin Stories

Have you ever thought about the expressions people use on a daily basis and wonder how they became such a widespread part of the English language? 

Well… I have…

I recently heard the words “raining cats and dogs” fall out of a friends mouth and it got me wondering, what the heck do cats and dogs have to do with heavy rain? No for reals though… It sounds ridiculous if you think about it. So I did what any sane person living in this day and age would do… I asked Google.

Though I found way too many explanations the most common was cats, dogs and other small creatures would hide in the thatch roof of a house during heavy rains and would often fall through the roof as they were often poorly made. No clue how true this is but I found it rather interesting and it put my brain at ease… For about 10 seconds! 
Then I began making a list in my head… A list of every saying I have used with no clue where it originated. So as I’m sure you have gathered by now… I took my list and did some research.

I am not guaranteeing everything in this post is accurate but I cross referenced everything and these seem to be the most common explanations of phrases we use on a daily basis.

Bite the Bullet
Meaning: Accepting something difficult or unpleasant
Origin: There was no time to administer anesthesia before emergency surgery during battle. (Well shit.) The surgeon made patients bite down on a bullet in an attempt to distract them from the pain. (Broken teeth with your painful surgery anyone?)

Break the Ice
Meaning: To commence a project or initiate a friendship
Origin: Before the days of trains or cars, port cities that thrived on trade suffered during the winter because frozen rivers prevented commercial ships from entering the city. Small ships known as “icebreakers” would rescue the icebound ships by breaking the ice (No duh) and creating a path for them to follow. Before any type of business arrangement today, it is now customary to “break the ice” before beginning a project. (To be honest… This just made me want an Icebreaker… Not a ship but the yummy ice-lollies we ate as kids and as adults because we are just really big kids if you think about it.)

Butter Someone Up
Meaning: To flatter someone
Origin: From an ancient Indian custom involved throwing balls of clarified butter at statues of the gods to seek favor.

Cat Got Your Tongue?
Meaning: Something said when a person is at a loss for words
Origin: There are so many “sources” for this common saying but the one that seems to come up the most refers to the practice of cutting out the tongues of liars and blasphemers and feeding them to cats. (That’s messed up!)

Caught Red-Handed
Meaning: To be caught doing something wrong
Origin: This saying originated because of a law. If someone butchered an animal that didn’t belong to him, he had to be caught with the animal’s blood on his hands to be convicted. Being caught with freshly cut meat did not make the person guilty. (How did they know it was the animals blood and the butcher wasn’t just a deranged mass murderer?) 

Eat Humble Pie
Meaning: Making an apology and suffering humiliation along with it
Origin: During the Middle Ages, the lord of a manor would hold a feast after hunting. He would receive the finest cut of meat at the feast, but those of a lower standing were served a pie filled with the entrails and innards (YUK!), known as “umbles.” Therefore, receiving “umble pie” was considered humiliating because it informed others in attendance of the guest’s lower status. (So I’m not hungry anymore.)

Go Cold Turkey
Meaning: To quit something abruptly
Origin: People believed that during withdrawal, the skin of drug addicts became translucent, hard to the touch, and covered with goose bumps – like the skin of a plucked turkey.

Go the Whole 9 Yards
Meaning: To try one’s best
Origin: World War II Fighter pilots received a 9-yard chain of ammunition. Therefore, when a pilot used all of his ammunition on one target, he gave it “the whole 9 yards.” (That is one aggro pilot!)

Kick the Bucket
Meaning: To die
Origin: When a cow was killed at a slaughterhouse, a bucket was placed under it while it was positioned on a pulley. Sometimes the animal’s legs would kick during the adjustment of the rope and it would literally kick the bucket before being killed. (Huh… Ok…)

Let Your Hair Down
Meaning: To relax or be at ease
Origin: Parisian nobles risked condemnation from their peers if they appeared in public without an elaborate hairdo. (Fancy as fuck son!) Some of the more intricate styles required hours of work, so of course it was a relaxing for these aristocrats to come home at the end of a long day and let their hair down. (In this day and age it’s probably the same as getting home and taking off your bra…)

No Spring Chicken
Meaning: Someone who is past his prime
Origin: England chicken farmers generally sold chickens in the spring, so the chickens born in the springtime were worth more than the chickens that survived the winter. Sometimes, farmers tried to sell old birds for the price of a new spring chicken. Clever buyers complained that the fowl was “no spring chicken,” and the term came to represent anyone past their prime. (So you make it through the winter alive and clucking only to be told no? RUDE!)

Pleased as Punch
Meaning: To be very happy
Origin: A 17th century puppet show for children called Punch and Judy featured a puppet named Punch who always killed people. (What?!) The act of killing brought him pleasure, so he felt pleased with himself afterwards. (That’s seriously messed up people!)

Rub the Wrong Way
Meaning: To irritate, bother, or annoy someone
Origin: In colonial America, servants were required to wet-rub and dry-rub the oak-board floors each week. Doing it against the grain caused streaks to form, making the wood look awful and irritating the homeowner. (LOL!)

Rule of Thumb
Meaning: A common, ubiquitous benchmark
Origin: Legend has it that 17th century English Judge Sir Francis Buller ruled it was permissible for a husband to beat his wife with a stick, given that the stick was no wider than his thumb. (Whose thumb? The judges thumb or the husbands thumb? Just need to know whose thumb I would need to chop off.)

Run Amok
Meaning: Go crazy (Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah, Oh baby, Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah)
Origin: This comes from the Malaysian word amoq, which describes the behavior of tribesmen who, under the influence of opium (obvs) became wild, rampaging mobs that attacked anybody in their path.

Saved by the Bell
Meaning: Rescued from an unwanted situation
Origin: As scary as it sounds, being buried alive was once a common occurrence. People who feared succumbing to such a fate were buried in special coffins that connected to a bell above ground. At night, guards listened for any bells in case they had to dig up a living person and save them “by the bell.” (That’s it! When I die cremate me!)

Show Your True Colors
Meaning: To reveal one’s true nature
Origin: Warships used to fly multiple flags to confuse their enemies. However, the rules of warfare stated that a ship had to hoist its true flag before firing and hence, display its country’s true colors. (OH PLEASE! Like anyone would actually do that! “I say good Sir you may have sunk our ships and killed all our men but you didn’t hoist the correct flag, shame on you.”)

Sleep Tight (This one I did actually know… Thanks to The Big Bang Theory… But I’ll stick it in here anyway)
Meaning: Sleep well
Origin: During Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. In order to make the bed firmer, one had to pull the ropes to tighten the mattress.

Spill the Beans
Meaning: To reveal a secret
Origin: In Ancient Greece, beans were used to vote for candidates entering various organizations. One container for each candidate was set out before the group members, who would place a white bean in the container if they approved of the candidate and a black bean if they did not. Sometimes a clumsy voter would accidentally knock over the jar, revealing all of the beans and allowing everyone to see the otherwise confidential votes. (Yeah… Sure… He was clumsy! This was Greece! The guy knocking the container over was probably smashed out of his mind!)

Waking Up on the Wrong Side of the Bed
Meaning: Waking up in a bad mood
Origin: The left side of the body or anything having to do with the left was often associated considered sinister. To ward off evil, innkeepers made sure the left side of the bed was pushed against a wall, so guests had no other option but to get up on the right side of the bed.
(Totally unrelated to a saying but this is also why left handed people were not allowed to be knights… they were considered impure and sometimes evil. LOL!)

Ok… That’s all for now… I think.

If you didn’t enjoy this post then what the heck is wrong with you?!
I gave you gross pies, chickens, fancy hair and serial killer entertainment for KIDS!!! What more do you want?!

END!

EAT!

So this weekend I was asked a question that got me thinking… "What are my top 3 favorite restaurants to eat at?" I thought that was a pretty great way to find new places to visit.

So here is a post about some of my favorite places to eat:

Refresh Café: LaLucia Mall
This is probably my favorite place to have breakfast. My boyfriend and I are here almost every weekend.
The food is delicious, reasonably priced and the service is great.
I don’t think I’ve ever actually eaten anything off the lunch menu but the breakfasts are great.
Favorite Dish: Breakfast Roll.

Unity Bar: Silverton Road
It seems every single time I have been to Unity (click and like them on facebook) it’s been for a girls night out… Regardless the food is great, the drinks are cold and the vibe is awesome! Although I do suggest making a reservation if you are interested in visiting Unity… It’s generally quite busy. They also stock one of my favorite craft beers, That Irish Red by That Brewing Co. So That’s a bonus. (I hope you saw what I did there)
Favorite Dish: Steak… Any of them, they are all yum.

Mozambique: Gateway
Mozambique is super chilled, they have great service and the food is yummy.
The portions are large so make sure you are hungry. I personally like the starters… Order two of those and it’s pretty much a meal. It’s an all-round happy dining experience.
Favorite Dish: Prawn Rissoles

Dragons: Broadway
While Dragons is a restaurant, I can’t say I have ever sat down and eaten here. So the vibe and the service I cannot comment on. There is only one reason I go to Dragons… Sweet and Sour Pork with Noodles.
I’m salivating just thinking about it.
Delicious deep fried pork with onions and peppers cooked in an amazing sweet and sour sauce… It’s something you HAVE to try.
Mmmmm… I think I know what I want for dinner.
Favorite Dish: You guessed it… Sweet and Sour Pork.

The Wok Box: Mackeurtan Avenue
Another awesome little spot my boyfriend and I like to visit. This small restaurant is another that gets really busy and for good reason. The food is just so damn good.
They don’t skimp on the portions so make sure you are hungry. The service is great and the vibe is very chilled just the way I like it. 
Favorite Dish: Crispy Pork Belly… Mmmmmm.

This post was a bad idea… I’m so hungry now.

S43: Station Road
While S43 is a restaurant, I have actually never eaten here.
I go for the beer… Obviously.
That Brewing Co. (click and like them on facebook) is a permanent resident as this is their distillery. I am guaranteed to find That Irish Red here and that makes my little old heart so happy.
Favorite Dish: Beer.

Distillery 031: Station Road
This is a new little gem found this weekend.
Distillery 031, just upstairs from S43, create yummy craft Gin, Whiskey and Vodka. (If I have left something out, oh well.)
Their cocktails are so good! They will however kick you in the face… With a chair… So make sure you are not driving when you visit this little spot.
While they do have a kitchen, Distillery 031 (click and like them on facebook) have done something a little different. They outsource smaller food companies and chefs to cook on different nights.
I’m not sure exactly how it works but I think it’s a pretty rad idea. As a customer, you get to try different foods by different companies in a space you know and feel comfortable. This weekend they had Funny Bunny in their kitchen and it was amazeballs… More about that in a bit though.
Favorite Dish: COCKTAILS!!!!!

Funny Bunny:
While I cannot say this is a favorite for me purely because I’ve only had their food once, it was so good it still made it on here.
This weekend a few of us visited Distillery 031 to try the burgers from Funny Bunny and oh dear universe thank you for this experience.
I am not a fan of burgers but these have converted me. I can’t really explain it, you just have to try them.
As far as I know Funny Bunny (click here and like them on facebook) are regulars at the I Heart Market, so if you want to check them out (and you should) you can find them there. I’ll be at the funny Bunny stand next I Heart Market… That’s for sure!
Favorite Dish: Beef and Oxtail burger patty with caramelized onion, pineapple and bacon bits…
(For all you veggie lovers out there, they make veggie burgers too.)

That's all I have to say right now... Check them out if you like or don't... If you have any foodie places you think I should check out let me know and I will... Or I won't... It's a toss up really.

I didn't have any pictures in here... Sooo.... Here is a pug dressed as a taco.

Things I'd rather be doing than helping you:

When someone asks you for help and proceeds to give you the wrong information, then gets condescending and rude because nothing works... 
Below is the list I made while you were speaking.

Things I'd rather be doing than helping you:

• Drinking creamy alcohol until I puke.
• Listen to Iggy Azalea.
• Listen to Iggy Azalea and Demi Lovato collaborate on a song.
• Visit a gynecologist.
• Pull my teeth out with pliers.

And then you stopped talking for long enough so I could inform you in the nicest way possible everything you are doing is wrong.

You then proceeded to tell me the exact same thing I have JUST told you DOES NOT WORK, only this time slower like you are explaining it to someone who licks windows and pisses their pants.

More things I'd rather be doing than helping you:

• Bash my face into a brick wall until I pass out.
• Strip naked and roll around on broken glass.
• Cut all my clothes up to look like a YOLO kid.
• Give myself a thousand paper cuts between my fingers.
• Eat pears.
• Have my entire body covered with ants.
• Watch Burn After Reading.
• Eat soap.
• Snort Cayenne Pepper.
• Have my foot ridden over by a car.
• Actually just get hit by the car.

OH LOOK AT THAT! IT STILL DOESN'T WORK?! WHAAAAT?!

So, in your mind, you being a condescending ass hat will make everything magically work the way you want it to? Do you also believe some overweight old guy with a beard cruises around the world on a flying object once a year to drop off presents for kids who have been good?

Rant over.

Moron of the day #11

Another one? So Soon?

ME: "(company name) good day Terri speaking."

MOTD: "Hi Terri, it's _____ calling from _____, you spoke to MOTD #10 this morning."

ME: "Yes ______, How can I help?"

MOTD: "She said you told her if she gets a laptop she won't have an issue with her computer during loadshedding?"

ME: "Yes, the laptop has a battery in it and it will stay on for as long as the battery lasts."

MOTD: "Ok because I have a laptop and it was working but now it has just turned off."

ME: "Ok... Has the battery died?"

MOTD: "I had it plugged in so it shouldn't have died."

REALLY?! SERIOUSLY?! HOW DO ANY OF YOU HAVE JOBS WHEN THERE ARE PERFECTLY GOOD HUMANS WHO KNOW HOW ELECTRICITY WORKS STILL UNEMPLOYED?!

ME: "The battery would not be charging on the laptop if the electricity is off, regardless of whether it's plugged in or not."

MOTD: "Ok I see, thanks."

ME: "Thanks and have a great day."

Moron of the day #10

Moron Of the Day 10! We have hit double digits.

ME: “(company name) good day Terri speaking”

MOTD: “Hi Terri, it’s _____ from ______, I’m having an issue with my PC. I need a technician.”

ME: “Sure, what seems to be the problem?”

MOTD: “My computer was working fine this morning, I stepped away for a few minutes and when I came back it was off. I can’t get it to turn back on, I’ve tried unplugging and plugging it back in but nothing.”

ME: “Sure, I will…”

MOTD: “Our WiFi has also stopped working.”

(This is when I began to wonder…)

ME: “______ is anyone else having the same issue with their computers?”

MOTD: “I’ll check.”

…….

MOTD: “Yes a few people are having the same problem.”

ME: “______ are you by any chance loadshedding?”

MOTD: “Yes.”

(How do you tell someone they are too stupid to live in modern day society and should never procreate?)

ME: “______ Do you have a generator or any kind of battery backup for your computer?” (Subtly implying you need electricity to run your computer.)

MOTD: “No.”

ME: “…..” (come on… you can get there… figure it out…)

MOTD: “….” (no? you missed that? wow… just wow.)

ME: “Your computer would need to be plugged into a power supply in order to run when the electricity is off.”

MOTD: “Oh, ok.” (Really you didn’t know you needed electricity? REALLY?!) “what about our WiFi?”

ME: “Your router also needs electricity to work.”

MOTD: “What does that have to do with our WiFi?”

ME: “Your Wifi runs through your router, so if your router is off your WiFi won’t work.”

MOTD: “Oh ok. So we have to wait for the power to come back on?”

ME: “Yes, you would.”

MOTD: “That’s two hours! How must I work in the meantime?!”

ME: “I can send you a quote for a UPS or a laptop which has a battery in it, which may avoid this in the future?” (Or you could send smoke signals… How must I know!)

MOTD: “No that’s fine. Thanks bye.”

ME: “Goodbye.”

ANT-MAN!

That's right ladies and gentlemen!
This little Myrmecophobic went to watch a movie about a guy who controls ANTS!
If you don't know what the heck Myrmecophobia is and couldn't figure it out from the word 'ants' in capital letters well here you go:

Myrmecophobia is an intense fear of ants. This fear belongs to the more general category of Entomophobias (the fear of insects). But the fear of bees and fear of ants are more specific as the sufferers only fear those respective classes of insects.

Myrmecophobia is in a sense, similar to Arachnophobes- (people who fear spiders) in that; they might shudder or cry at the sight of ants just like the latter might do at the sight of spiders. People with an extreme ant phobia often believe that these bugs might enter their homes, contaminate their food or lead to massive destruction, damage, even death. (Massive destruction, damage and death... That's where I'm at.)The fear of ants manifests in different ways and varies from individual to individual. People suffering from Myrmecophobia suffer from variety of physical and emotional symptoms:

1. Shuddering, trembling, feeling terrified at the sight/thought of ants.(Yup.) Some phobics might lose consciousness momentarily when they come in contact with an ant. (close but no.) Uncontrollable weeping, feeling like running away and hiding or having a full blown panic attack are some other symptoms of Myrmecophobia. (Yeah most of the time. Although no weeping but that's just because I have been teased enough for this.)
2. Phobics might imagine “killer ants attacking and dragging them away to their Queen” over and over as seen in some movies/shows. (No, can't say that has happened...)
3. They might avoid gardening or stepping outdoors in summer and spring when ants are rampant (Meh)
4. Some people fear that ants will contaminate their foods or invade their homes. This leads to an obsessive compulsive behavior in the form of cleaning the house, locking the doors and windows, or being overzealous in the use of pesticides to prevent ants in their homes and yards. (Yeah, this happens...)

Ok, So my fear of Ants is not as bad as it could be... I can still function with ants around and even though the sight of them makes me dizzy, nauseous and sweaty palmed; I've never actually passed out. My skin just crawls and I want to puke. I do still get laughed at every time someone mentions my fear of ants. Which I just brush off but it's a dick thing to do, so just don't. Ok.

If someone had to jump up onto a bed flapping their arms around because a giant flying cockroach just flew into the room, would you laugh? probably but you wouldn't tease them because you'd understand.

If someone told you the sight of blood made them faint, you would say "Awww shame" and feel bad for them. You wouldn't point and laugh while pissing yourself with laughter... WOULD YOU?!
It's the same damn thing, so just don't be a dick ok.

Anyway, Moving on to what this post was meant to be about:

ANT-MAN!

So unlike every other Marvel movie I have ever gone to the movies to watch, I was not excited. NOT EXCITED AT ALL! I knew everyone else was going to see a lighthearted and slightly cheesy super hero movie, while I was going to watch a horror. The type of movie that would make my skin crawl, my palms sweaty and my heart race.

A horror designed just for me. A horror I felt Marvel was forcing me to watch. I knew Ant-Man would tie into the other Marvel movies I was so dedicated to follow, so this was a sacrifice I had to make.

So I clutched my boyfriends hand as tight as possible and braved the oncoming storm.

Yes, I was right but also so very very wrong about this movie. 

Even though the sheer volume of ants in this movie was enough to leave me nauseous and light headed, I was glad I went.

Ant-Man is not as cheesy as I expected.

In fact I really enjoyed it.

A movie that could have been super lame was so well done a myrmecophobe like myself didn't mind the enormous quantity of creepy ants. I actually think I may watch it again.

Paul Rudd was an amazing Ant-Man! He was sarcastic and cocky yet extremely likable.

All in all every cast member bought their own little something something to their characters, throw in a pretty rad story line, some epic effects and you have yourself a pretty epic movie.

So I think everyone should put their prejudice aside and go watch Ant-Man.

You won't regret it.

Your favorite character however probably won't be Scott Lang (Ant-Man), I'm guessing it will be one of his sidekicks Luis played by Michael Peña. I don't know how but the few times you see him on screen will have you rolling around peeing yourself with laughter. That guy is funny man!

Don't take my word for it though. Go watch it and let me know what you think.

Ok. 

That's all. 

Be nice to people who are afraid of random things.

Don't do drugs.

Stay in school.

Unless you're in matric, then leave at the end of the year.

It's been so long, I can't remember how to end a post.

I feel like I've made it awkward.

Save water.

Switch off.

Stay alert, stay alive.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Peace out.

Ok I think I'm done.

Dear Students, you little f*ck tards!

Dear Students.

A few months ago when I found out the flat across the road from my house was converted into a student housing building, I became worried.

I was worried about the noise that awaited my nights.

To my surprise the students who occupied this building were kind considerate humans who would make sure by nine pm and latest 10pm any noise they may have been making (which was hardly any), be it having friends over or playing music had stopped. The building became silent even though there were still students sitting in the garden, they made no noise what so ever. They were the perfect neighbors.

Now they have graduated (I’m assuming) and new students have moved in… Sigh… You guys. How I miss the old ones.

You my new neighbors are the worst. You play your terrible excuse for music as loud as possible and then proceed to “talk” (more like scream) at each other over the volume of the music. Here is a great idea… Turn it down and then you can actually hear each other.

At ten o’clock at night!

So by two in the morning I was pissed off, tired and grumpy. So I did what any grumpy neighbor would do. I phoned the cops. YES! That was me you little sh*ts!

The police arrived around an hour later (even though their station is 5 minutes away go f*cking figure!) and we had total silence finally.

Less than twenty minutes later…

MORE FU*CKING NOISE AND MUSIC!!! ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME YOU F*CKING RETARDED EXCUSES FOR HUMAN FLESH!!!

What is your dysfunction you stupid little f*ckers?

So I phoned the cops AGAIN!!! When they eventually dragged their overweight lazy asses out to tell you f*cking morons to shut the f*ck up again it was FOUR F*CKING A F*CKING M!!!

Then while leaving my house early this morning to go to work with no sleep and only caffeine to help me through this Monday, your little student housing building was silent. Not a sound from anyone.

I’m assuming this is because you have classes this afternoon and had to get some sleep because you know… Everyone needs sleep to function. (Please read that as sarcastically as possible.)

So here is how this is going to go down from here on out.

You keep me awake all night again and I will phone every police station in Durban and complain about the noise. I have nothing better to do… Was going to sleep during that time anyway.

You will have cops at your door every half an hour if I have anything to say about it.

If you still insist on being little tw*ts, I will have a chat to a few of my scary tow truck driver friends (Yup, I know some dodgy scary ass people) who have some insane sound systems in their trucks and I will ask them kindly with delicious brownies, to park outside your flat at six in the morning and play their music as loud as they please.

You will not sleep.

You will never sleep.

Ever.

Again.

So do yourselves a favor and when it gets to nine/ten pm do what every other civilized human being would do and shut the f*ck up.

After all it’s an actual law.

Regards,

Your exhausted neighbor.

*I'm done ranting but this is far from over.

MY IPOD!

Hello Internet Buddies!

So happy, last night my missing iPod suddenly showed up again in my life. YAY!
Around 3 years ago, I misplaced my iPod and no matter how hard I searched, I could not find it. It was a very sad time and after it had been missing for over a year, I kind of gave up hope of ever seeing my charcoal black beauty again.

Last night while sitting on my bed playing with my laptop, my sister walked up to me with my long lost iPod in her hand and asked (in a very nonchalant tone) "Do you even use this anymore?"
I think I nearly cried from pure joy... I'm pretty sure I didn't even use words in response, it was more of a high pitched squeal followed by some serious hand clapping... I'm pretty sure I must have looked like a seal on acid.

After plugging it in and letting it charge for a while, I turned that baby on and went through my taste in music from 3 years ago.
Not going to lie, that shit was amazing. I did goooood.

I'd give you a list but it's 160gigs worth of music, so no. Here is a video of a BABY MONKEY RIDING A PIG BACKWARDS instead. (hahahahaha look at it!)
Seriously go watch it. Don't thank me though. 
Thank you Tannith for showing me this fantastic video!

I like that shit #7

Humanity: “You play SIMS?!” (Insert shock and horror)

Me: “You DON’T?!” (Return the shock and horror)

Yes people, I’ve heard it a thousand times. “Sims is so stupid.” “That’s not a real game.” “But pears are delicious.” Ok that last one was 100% unrelated but I really hate pears.

You think it’s stupid, most people who haven’t played it think it’s stupid, I know I was one of you, once upon an expansion ago.

The truth is, it’s actually kind of fun. Before you all decide to burn me at the stake for liking something you don’t and not being scared to admit it. Think about your shameful little pleasures in life no one can know about, now imagine how easy everything would be if you just admit you like things others find stupid.

I don’t want to live in a world where everyone likes the same old shit and no one dares to sing along to Taylor Swift for fear of the judgement. Be honest. You’ve bounced around singing Shake It Off at the top of your lungs when you were alone.

No? Just me then? Liars.

I’ve been asked what it is about Sims3 that I like so much. The truth is… I have no idea.

After a long day I like to sit in front of my PC, listen to random repetitive happy music and build shit.

I like to build houses from scratch but I also like to try revamp the shitty houses already there without changing too much of the structure.

I like to decorate the rooms and I like to create random virtual people.

Sometimes I’ll make my Sims do keg stands and get them “Super Juiced” then I just let them loose on society and see what they do.

Although I’ve realized they generally just end up streaking down the road.

So yes, I play Sims. I make virtual people, I give them virtual pets, I build them virtual houses and then I control their lives. Nope, I’m not emotionally attached to any of them. If I get bored of a sim I delete them as easily as I created them. (Reading that back to myself, I feel like maybe I should talk to someone.)

Building shit relaxes me and I usually have a great night sleep without the troubles of the real world infesting my brain before bed.

Also, are you sure you have never jumped around singing Shake It Off? Have you heard it? Click HERE and go watch the video. That shit’s funny man.

We have the same dance moves.

The Ennnnnnnd.

RUDE!

So sitting at my desk doing my thing when my phone rings.

I answer and it’s my younger sister…

Tracy: “Hey Terri, guess what!”

Me: “What doll?”

Tracy: “Linkin Park are coming back to South Africa!”

Me: “WHAT?! NO WAY! SERIOUSLY?! YOU LIE!” (Insert extreme excitement)

Tracy: “Yup. April Fools.”

Me: “Fuck you.” *hung up*

What an awful thing to do to your loving sister! Get her all excited her favorite band is coming back to her country and then snatch that immense happiness away in one foul sentence. Just RUDE!

Here is a picture of Chester Bennington in his Ink Not Mink campaign for Peta to help ease the pain guys.

I Ripped My Pants

Hello Friends,

So I know I have not posted on my blog in a while but to be honest I didn't really have much to say but I figured why not tell you about my eventful morning.

While walking to the kitchen at work this morning to make a delicious cup of Instant Human, I entered into a conversation between my boss, a technician and a friend of mine. They were discussing the sumo squats my friend had done the night before, when my boss and our tech asked "What are Sumo Squats?"

Now I was feeling super confident with my sumo squat abilities having just done them this morning for a Squat Challenge I had entered into with some derby friends. So I decided to demonstrate what a Sumo Squat looked like...

*Insert Ripping Sound*

I ripped my pants... Not just a little rip... Nooooo... A rip from my knee right up to my butt. It was breezy, funny and should have been humiliating but I was a little distracted by all the laughing.

I am now walking around my office in a lovely white button down shirt and exercise pants.

Today's life lesson is:
Don't do Sumo Squats in work pants.


If you don't know what a Sumo Squat is, here you go:

Ok, that's all.

I forgot my phone at home.

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I am phone-less. 

Not going to lie, I don’t like this feeling.

When I realized I had left my phone on my bed, I had a little emotional breakdown.

This had nothing to do with “How will anyone contact me” or “What if there is an emergency.” No, my emotional breakdown was “OH MY GLOB! MY TAMAGOTCHI IS GOING TO DIE!” Yup, my heart sunk into my stomach and my mind began to race because my virtual pet might just starve to death!

Now I know what you are thinking… It’s a virtual pet, it’s not going to die. It’s just going to reboot but you are wrong! Essentially everything my pet is at this time in its life will be erased and a new pet will be issued. So yes, my pet is going to DIE!

Moo the cat will be lost. How can I justify starting again with a new pet knowing full well I've murdered my old one. So this is it, if Moo is dead when I get home. I will lay him to rest and no more virtual pets for me.

I’ll miss that happy little cat with his love for gingerbread men, playing climb the tree and his smiley face poop.

I hope he doesn't die. I don't even have a picture of him. So here is a Honey Boo-Boo gif instead.

That’s all.

UPDATE:

Moo is alive and well! YAY!
Here is a picture:

WHYYYYYY?!

Hello Internet Friends!

Why is it when you wake up on time in the morning you are always late but if you wake up late you are somehow magically on time? 

I think it's because when you wake up on time you're all "Yeah! Winning! I'm just going to stroll around and ... OH MY GOD I'M LATE!" and when you hit the snooze button a billion times, you suddenly realize you've over slept and wake up in a flat panic. You jump out of bed like a ninja and then proceed to ninja shower, ninja dress, ninja make up... No, wait that doesn't sound right. You know what I mean. Anyway, you suddenly end up with time to pack your lunch and have a coffee before you have to leave for work. (or is that just me?)

I woke up on time this morning and didn't hit the snooze button on my alarm once. I've done this enough times to know it's a trap, so I proceeded to get ready for work with one eye on the clock at all times. (You're picturing that now aren't you.) Then it happened... "Where are my pants?" Yup. I've lost my pants. I could not for the life of me find any of my work pants. It's like they grew legs and walked away... No wait... They already had legs... WHY IS THIS SO CONFUSING! After searching through every item of clothing, just to make sure I'm not going mad, I was late and had nothing to wear.

Irritated with the entire situation, I managed to throw together an outfit that was not entirely useless, apply the most pathetic attempt at make up the world has ever seen (I put mascara on... That's all... Just mascara.) and managed to grab something for lunch while literally running out of the house.

I made it though. I was at work on time. OOOOOOH YEEEEEAAAAAAAH! (insert awkward dance moves)

My day moved along pretty calmly and when I looked up from my PC again it was time to eat! YAY! So I went to the kitchen to see what I had packed for lunch. (I knew it was something along the lines of tuna but I was in such a rush this morning I couldn't remember what it was.) For some reason, in my chaotic state this morning, I had grabbed a tin of tuna. (YES! It was tuna.) That's it though, just a tin of tuna and I had put it in a lunchbox. SERIOUSLY! I took a closed tin of tuna and put it in a lunchbox. What was I thinking this morning? In my mad rush did I think to myself "What if the processed dead fish inside this tin decides it wants out and smashes it's way out of a sealed tin, yup, better put it in a lunch box." Early morning Terri what is your dysfunction?! I kind of forgive myself because Pre-Coffee Terri is a bit useless but still... A tin of tuna in a lunchbox!

After seriously doubting my ability to be a human in the morning, I made my way to the shopping center across the road from my office to buy everything else I needed to make my tin of tuna into an actual meal. This was a fun and odd time... Fun because I got to stretch my legs and have a little walk around... Odd because while waiting to pay for my lunch stuff, I stood behind a guy who was flexing his muscles and checking himself out. In public. Not like a little flex and check my pecks... No this was a full on Johnny Bravo check my pecks moment and he didn't care that there were people looking at him with blank expressions on their faces, nope he was too busy checking himself out.

Get back to the office, only realize we have no tin opener. Seriously?! The one thing I grabbed from home for lunch and I can't open it. I then proceeded to skillfully open the tin with a knife... Apocalypse style! Oh yes! I'm prepared I can open a tin of tuna with nothing but a knife and sheer love for lunch. Plus I barely injured myself.

That's all. There was really no point to this post other than to tell you I'm useless in the morning before coffee and I don't know how to pack lunch.

Sorry for wasting your time.

To apologize here is a picture of Austin Carlile (Of Mice & Men) Oliver Sykes (Bring Me The Horizon) Kellin Quinn (Sleeping With Sirens) Vic Fuentes (Pierce The Veil) and Andy Biersack (Black Veil Brides) all wearing flower crowns:

Yeah, they are evil devil worshipers...

I have no words... OK, I have a few.

I for once in my life am battling to string a sentence together.

Some of you may have read my posts Moron of the day #9 and Did my post offend you? I wish I was sorry but I'm not. After posting on Friday afternoon my blog email whiskeyfromateacup@gmail.com kind of blew up.

'Did my post offend you?' very quickly became my most viewed post. Within two and a half hours it had 179 views and by the time I logged in on Sunday morning, it was well past that. After sitting on the floor with my laptop in absolute shock for a few minutes, I logged onto my blog email to see if anyone had written to me. I was not prepared for what happened next.

Yup... That was my reaction as well. TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY THREE EMAILS! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

To be 100% honest, I thought it was a prank. I did not believe 293 people had an opinion on my little rant about two silly little girls but they did!

Most of the mails were people agreeing with me and telling me how irritated they are with people like Rachel and Megan. 

Some were from people who were bullied growing up because they were different. The amount of people who went through this was shocking and made me weep for humanity. Here are some of the messages I've received from people:

I have not gotten to everyone yet but I promise if you haven't had a reply from me yet, it's on its way. There are so many emails and I have plenty to say to each of you.

So until you hear from me, thanks for your support and please don't hesitate to email again. I like reading your thoughts on my posts and life in general.

MKAY!

*Unrelated Fact: Buckingham Palace has 602 rooms.