I think it's because when you wake up on time you're all "Yeah! Winning! I'm just going to stroll around and ... OH MY GOD I'M LATE!" and when you hit the snooze button a billion times, you suddenly realize you've over slept and wake up in a flat panic. You jump out of bed like a ninja and then proceed to ninja shower, ninja dress, ninja make up... No, wait that doesn't sound right. You know what I mean. Anyway, you suddenly end up with time to pack your lunch and have a coffee before you have to leave for work. (or is that just me?)
I woke up on time this morning and didn't hit the snooze button on my alarm once. I've done this enough times to know it's a trap, so I proceeded to get ready for work with one eye on the clock at all times. (You're picturing that now aren't you.) Then it happened... "Where are my pants?" Yup. I've lost my pants. I could not for the life of me find any of my work pants. It's like they grew legs and walked away... No wait... They already had legs... WHY IS THIS SO CONFUSING! After searching through every item of clothing, just to make sure I'm not going mad, I was late and had nothing to wear.
Irritated with the entire situation, I managed to throw together an outfit that was not entirely useless, apply the most pathetic attempt at make up the world has ever seen (I put mascara on... That's all... Just mascara.) and managed to grab something for lunch while literally running out of the house.
I made it though. I was at work on time. OOOOOOH YEEEEEAAAAAAAH! (insert awkward dance moves)
My day moved along pretty calmly and when I looked up from my PC again it was time to eat! YAY! So I went to the kitchen to see what I had packed for lunch. (I knew it was something along the lines of tuna but I was in such a rush this morning I couldn't remember what it was.) For some reason, in my chaotic state this morning, I had grabbed a tin of tuna. (YES! It was tuna.) That's it though, just a tin of tuna and I had put it in a lunchbox. SERIOUSLY! I took a closed tin of tuna and put it in a lunchbox. What was I thinking this morning? In my mad rush did I think to myself "What if the processed dead fish inside this tin decides it wants out and smashes it's way out of a sealed tin, yup, better put it in a lunch box." Early morning Terri what is your dysfunction?! I kind of forgive myself because Pre-Coffee Terri is a bit useless but still... A tin of tuna in a lunchbox!
After seriously doubting my ability to be a human in the morning, I made my way to the shopping center across the road from my office to buy everything else I needed to make my tin of tuna into an actual meal. This was a fun and odd time... Fun because I got to stretch my legs and have a little walk around... Odd because while waiting to pay for my lunch stuff, I stood behind a guy who was flexing his muscles and checking himself out. In public. Not like a little flex and check my pecks... No this was a full on Johnny Bravo check my pecks moment and he didn't care that there were people looking at him with blank expressions on their faces, nope he was too busy checking himself out.
Get back to the office, only realize we have no tin opener. Seriously?! The one thing I grabbed from home for lunch and I can't open it. I then proceeded to skillfully open the tin with a knife... Apocalypse style! Oh yes! I'm prepared I can open a tin of tuna with nothing but a knife and sheer love for lunch. Plus I barely injured myself.
That's all. There was really no point to this post other than to tell you I'm useless in the morning before coffee and I don't know how to pack lunch.
Sorry for wasting your time.
To apologize here is a picture of Austin Carlile (Of Mice & Men) Oliver Sykes (Bring Me The Horizon) Kellin Quinn (Sleeping With Sirens) Vic Fuentes (Pierce The Veil) and Andy Biersack (Black Veil Brides) all wearing flower crowns:
.jpg) |
| Yeah, they are evil devil worshipers... |
No comments:
Post a Comment