I Say Ol' Chap... It's Been A While:

Friends, Romans, Countrymen... And other entities, here's a little catch up on what has been going down in my life.

So, I spent a great deal of my time as an unemployed citizen of South Africa being an absolute total bum. Which turns out is not as fun as I thought it would be, in fact its actually quite boring. Everyone is off to work and moving forward in life while you are kind of just stuck. You don't move forward, you don't move anywhere, you just stop and then nothing. It sucks major!

BUUUUUUUUUUUT...

After seven months of having nothing to do when I woke up in the morning, I HAVE A JOB! YAY! Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am an employed functioning member of society again. Oh man, paying taxes has never been so satisfying... I'm so excited I have dinosaurs in my tummy (butterflies are for the weak)

One upside to not having a job: I was lucky enough to spend as much time as I wanted with my gorgeous nephew... He is the cutest human in all the lands and anyone who says otherwise will be slapped. In the face. With a roller skate.

So my new job is working for an IT company and it is flipping rad! Finally humans I understand. Nerds and geeks all on different levels but all the same. Aaaahhh... These are my people.

I haven't known them for long but I adore our technicians and I think they are warming up to me... After all, they can finally speak to me and are starting to actually hold a conversation with me. Like real people. Just kidding! (but seriously)

In other amazing news:
I have a boyfriend! Oh yes... I have an amazing boyfriend who I love like a fat kid loves cake. (mmmmm Cake.) He is amazing. We have been dating for the better part of a year. I'm generally happy but he makes me happier. Like Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows kind of happy. What more could you ask for in a human?
BUT! More on this amazing human later.

I'm still loving Roller Derby. Our amazing team of rainbow llamas has grown and our new teamies are a perfect fit. What awesome people!
Also more about The MissFits (CLICK HERE NOW AND GO LIKE US!) and our amazing Team ZA later. There is waaaay to much to write about them... This post would go on for days! (DAYS SON!)

SO LET'S RECAP:

1. I have a job and my colleagues are epic.
2. My nephew is the best human ever.
3. I have a boyfriend and he's better than yours. Damn right he's better than yours. (I sang that.)
4. Roller Derby is the most amazing sport to ever hit the planet and you should join us for all of the awesome.

If this post about me was too boring for you... Here are some useless facts for your useless self. Read them and go away. I don't want to be your friend anymore:

- On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

- On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

- It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

- The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

- A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. 

- Pepsi originally contained pepsin, thus the name. 

- Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

- The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (Not surprised? Neither was I)

- "Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

- Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. 

- A snail can sleep for three years. 

- Honey is the only natural food that is made without destroying any kind of life. What about milk you say? A cow has to eat grass to produce milk and grass is living.

- The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

- Spiral staircases in medieval castles run clockwise. This is because all knights used to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand which was holding the sword because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs. Left-handed knights would have had no troubles, except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil.