She Drinks Whiskey From A Teacup

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

What do I call this? You asked, so I'm answering.

So I know I haven’t been talking much about work (people keep emailing me to ask why) but I have a very good reason for that. Stuff was going down that I couldn't actually talk about at the time. I will edit what I say because I don’t believe in leaving on shitty terms with a company. No matter what went down or is still to go down I’m a better person than that. So if anything I say sounds like I’m bad mouthing my company, I want to make it very clear I AM NOT!

Basically I’m being retrenched. Which for any normal person would probably be horrible news but I think we have all established “Normal” doesn't quite apply to me. Don’t get me wrong it was a shock; the way I was informed about my position becoming redundant in the company was not exactly delicately done. After a few meetings, some research and a good ol’ chat with my wonderful older sister, I saw this situation for what it really is: A push to change my life and do something I actually enjoy.

I think it’s no secret I was unhappy in what I was doing and needed a change for my own sanity. I was just too comfortable in my own lazy misery to actually get up and do something about it. Now I kind of have to but without the financial stress that usually come with job hunting.

This company has taught me a lot. The good and the bad experiences have been a lesson in life and have made me a better person. I am definitely more confident and know I am capable of handling pretty much anything thrown at me. I have also come to realize recently I am a stronger person than I had thought I was. I've never been a push over but what I now know is when push comes to shove, damn I can shove hard!

I’m going to miss some of the people I work with (yeah, only some) but I know I’ll still keep in touch with them so it’s not a total loss. It’s not like when you are mates with a boyfriend’s sibling, you break up and lose your friend as well… Although I’m still friends with my ex’s siblings… Yeah… Slowly learning how many normal rules really don’t apply to me. Not the point... Point is there are things I will miss and there are things I will be glad to never deal with again.

Don’t know what I’m going to do for “Moron of the Day” material… I suppose there are morons everywhere so it shouldn't be too hard to find another source.

I’m on day 5 of my 1 month notice. Come end of March (26 days/17 working days EEEK!) I’ll officially be a jobless bum. That means in between job hunting and interviews (I hope they come quickly) I will be skating, hanging with my fam and attacking my nephew with hugs & kisses. Looking forward to my next adventure!

Googled ‘Happy about being retrenched’ to find a picture… Apparently Google doesn't know what I’m talking about because all those people looked sad… So here, have a Sir Cat riding a Unicorn instead:

I like ellipses.

Monday, March 3, 2014

#YOLOKids: Daisy Dukes

So today during lunch, while walking through the shopping center up the road from my office, I saw what has become a fad among youngins today, the YOLO generation and their really awful “shorts” (My eyes! My poor innocent eyes!) Daisy Dukes… Whose stupid idea was that?

I do not need to see your ass hanging out the bottom of your poor excuse for shorts. It is NOT sexy. You do not look sexy… You look trashy. STOP THAT SHIT NOW! I just don’t understand it. Have you no self-respect? Have you no respect for anyone else in this world? I've literally seen hookers with more clothes on than this daisy duke generation.

I have absolutely NOTHING against short shorts, I think a lot of girls look really cute in short shorts, and it’s Durban for flip sake… Summer all year round, so go right ahead and wear your shorts, let’s just try keep your goodies inside them please.

We live in a world where you are judged on your appearance. How you dress and carry yourself is how you will be treated. I’m not condoning it, I wish we lived in a world where people were judged on their personality and who they are as people but we don’t and the reality is if you dress like trash you will be treated as trash. Why would you want to put yourself through that? Is it because famous delinquents like Miley Cyrus and Rihanna do it?

Firstly, I hardly think you should be using them as role models.

Secondly, not even they look good in them.

See...

People will treat you how you treat yourself. Puts some big girl shorts on and have a little class.

If you are still not sure what I mean by Classy Short Shorts here you go:

Friday, February 28, 2014

Movie Vibes

My wonderful sister phoned me up last night and asked if I’d be keen to go watch a movie. Seeing as I was missing derby, my evening was wide open… Sooooo… Sister Date Wooo Hooo!

Trying to decide what movie to watch was almost impossible. They were either starting too early, too late or we’d watched them. Eventually my mom, two sisters and I eliminated every movie until there was only one option left. Vampire Academy. Yes. You read that right… We decided on a movie called VAMPIRE ACADEMY! (click for the trailer) All that went through my mind was ‘How bad could it be? It can’t be worse than Twilight. Right?’

Boy was I in for a big surprise.

I was going to write a blog about how epic it was and everyone should watch this amazing piece of art because I’m a bitch like that sometimes. Sadly I was struck down with guilt and decided I wouldn't prank you guys. It would have been way too mean, even for me.

Vampire Academy was possibly the worst thing I have ever watched in my entire life. Including Twilight, give me the sparkly vamps any day! I think Sharknado (click for the trailer) had better acting than this load of rubbish and was way more entertaining.

You know how some movies should be good but because the acting is so bad they are horrible. This is NOT one of those movies. Everything about this movie is just down right awful and nothing could save it. Except maybe tequila… A LOT OF TEQUILA! If I was pee in my pants kind of crazy drunk, maybe, just maybe I would have found it the slightest bit interesting.

The most entertaining part of the entire movie was the expression on the faces of my sisters as they cringed in horror and mocked the really awful script. Oh and my slush puppie… My slushie was delicious.

To make it even worse the movie ends in a way you know for sure there will be a sequel. Vampire Academy 2, I’m having nightmares about it already.

The movie is based on a series of six books (oh Lord! SIX!) written by some lady named Richelle Mead. (On behalf of humanity I would just like to say Richelle Mead, you bitch.) I could have spent those 104 minutes of my life doing something way more pleasurable like get a tooth pulled or have an enema.

Let me save you some time and money. This movie is a load of shit.
Do NOT watch it.
I don’t care how bored you are. Anything else will be more entertaining than Vampire Academy.

If you choose to ignore me and watch it anyway. I have no sympathy for you. You are a sadist and deserve to suffer.

That is all.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

It's A Reunion!

Walking down the road. Some random lady starts walking towards me... Not past me. Towards me. Naturally I smile and start to divert my path away from her, she followed me and then:

Lady: "Hello Terri."

Me: "Ummmm Hi"

Lady: "You don't remember me do you?"

Me: "Sorry, I don't."

Lady: "I went to primary school with you."

Me: "Oh (insert smile) Hi" - still no clue who she is.

Lady: "I was friends with Megan and Kirsten?"

Me: "That's nice. Who are they?"

Lady: "We were in your class in grade seven."

Me: "Wait, you were the girls who used to call me names like Hollywood because you thought it rhymed with my surname and Dented Face because I have dimples hahahahaha!"

Lady: "Uh yeah."

Me: "Hahahahaha! There were so many creative ways you could have teased my dimples and dented face was the best you could come up with hahahahahaha!"

Lady: "So we should hang out sometime."

Me: "HAHAHAHAHA! Oh honey! That's not going to happen."

Lady: "_______"

Me: "You have a lovely day now."

Maybe I shouldn't have laughed at her to her face but I couldn't help it, it just slipped out. I had to laugh on behalf of every little weirdo that had to put up with little bitches who thought they were funny in school.

This is not the first time some random girl has walked up to me, called me by my name and told me they know me from primary school. PRIMARY SCHOOL! It's happened a few times before. I had no idea who they were either. How the heck do these people remember me? I left primary school in 2001 and we were never friends.

I suppose you never forget your first weirdo that refuses to warp who they are around your narrow idea of what "cool" is. Being your own person and not another sheep in the flock leaves a bigger impression than I originally thought.

It's ironic, girls who mocked you right through school because you were weird suddenly want to be mates with you because you're weird.

Still laughing.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Scream Me Something Beautiful

I’m pretty tired of people telling me the type of music I listen to is “of the devil” or “Satan worship” and, by extension so am I. Just because it’s not Chris Tomlin doesn't mean that it’s evil. Most of those people talking smack about metalcore are listening to songs about "my bitches and my hos" Why on Gods green Earth would I listen to your advice on all things moral?

I've been told I must be a Satanist and evil because I listen to bands like The Devil Wears Prada and For Today which funny enough are Christian bands who worship God within their genre of music. Just because you don’t understand something does not make it wrong, just different.

I've heard people say they don’t understand a word the artist is screaming and in the same breath said they are worshiping Satan. How do you know they are worshiping Satan if you have no idea what they are saying?

I have always defended my taste in music but on occasion I've chosen to say nothing for fear of starting an argument with a narrow minded person, it's like trying to teach a two year old quantum physics.

The Bible doesn't prohibit screaming out in worship. There are songs and psalms in the Bible which would have little impact sung choir style accompanied by a sweet piano tune, for example 2 Samuel 22. A chapter filled with war, violence and pain. For some reason I just don’t see Jesus Culture having as much an impact as Demon Hunter, As I Lay Dying or even Flyleaf would while singing “I pursued my enemies and crushed them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed. I crushed them completely, and they could not rise; they fell beneath my feet. You armed me with strength for battle; you humbled my adversaries before me. You made my enemies turn their backs in flight, and I destroyed my foes. They cried for help, but there was no one to save them” In my opinion Metalcore bands would perform the whole “I beat them as fine as the dust of the earth; I pounded and trampled them like mud in the streets” a lot better than any other genre of music. Actually thinking about it that would make a pretty epic song. (Dear Memphis May Fire, I have found your next hit.)

One of my favourite bands is Memphis May Fire who are not a Christian band but the lyricist is and he can’t help but let his passion for Christ bleed into his music. The lyricist and lead vocalist, Matty Mullins, paints us pictures of hopelessness without God and beauty in the world when you believe. They are powerful messages sung in bone chilling soul shaking screams and would lose a lot of that power if it were sung sidewalk prophets style.

Basically what I’m trying to say is if Metalcore is your thing then, rock out to it.
Don’t be discouraged when narrow minded people tell you that it’s the work of the devil. They cannot see the power and beauty in it that you do and that’s just sad.(for them)

They are entitled to their own opinion, which you should respect but you don’t have to take shit from them. Stand up for yourself and most importantly let your freak flag fly. Who wants to be a cheap knockoff of someone else anyway? God made us different, so embrace it and be different. So what if people think you’re weird? A little secret... All the best people are.

Now Go Scream Something Beautiful!

Monday, February 24, 2014

I like that shit #3

People who know me or have spent any time with me know I have a serious love for music. It is hard for me to say I have a favourite song, band or even genre of music because my taste is so varied… There are bands I like who are complete polar opposites of each other.

It's Monday morning so I think something easy on the ears and eyes is in order.

There is a band I have found, loved and watched grow over the past couple years who are extremely unique and so flipping talented! Found some of their music on my ipod this weekend and thought I would share them with you today just because I feel they will touch your heart with their unconventional tunes, like they have grabbed hold of mine. It doesn’t hurt that they are extremely gorgeous as well. No seriously… I mean YUM!

Friends allow me to introduce 2CELLOS:

Yummy Croatian cellists Luka Šulić and Stjepan Hauser, have taken the cello to a new level and have demolished the boundaries between different genres of music.

Performing songs such as Supermassive Black Hole(ft. Naya Rivera), Highway to Hell(feat. Steve Vai), Smells Like Teen Spirit, The Resistance, Thunderstruck, Where The Streets Have No Name and the cover which put them on the map in a huge way Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson, these super flipping sexy cellists have managed to do the impossible, turn the cello into sexy rock and roll. I know right… I didn't know it was possible either. Turns out it is.

Stjepan Hauser (age 27) - Yum!

Luka Šulić (age 26) - Extra Yum!

Click on the links above and watch some of their YouTube videos or click HERE to listen to them on Soundcloud.

Here is another pic... Just because they are so lovely to look at.

Happy listening! You can thank me later.

Friday, February 21, 2014

I like that shit #2

Ok, so you know there is always that website you go to that sells really cool stuff you can’t afford but you can’t help but go back and look at all the cool stuff you can’t have?

I have one of those in my life. It’s called THIS IS WHY I’M BROKE… I shit you not, that is its name. Go ahead click on it and salivate over all the things you can't have.

Here are some of the randomly epic things you will find on this fantastic site that I really want:

TRON Motorcycle: $55,000.00