I like that shit #7

Humanity: “You play SIMS?!” (Insert shock and horror)

Me: “You DON’T?!” (Return the shock and horror)

Yes people, I’ve heard it a thousand times. “Sims is so stupid.” “That’s not a real game.” “But pears are delicious.” Ok that last one was 100% unrelated but I really hate pears.

You think it’s stupid, most people who haven’t played it think it’s stupid, I know I was one of you, once upon an expansion ago.

The truth is, it’s actually kind of fun. Before you all decide to burn me at the stake for liking something you don’t and not being scared to admit it. Think about your shameful little pleasures in life no one can know about, now imagine how easy everything would be if you just admit you like things others find stupid.

I don’t want to live in a world where everyone likes the same old shit and no one dares to sing along to Taylor Swift for fear of the judgement. Be honest. You’ve bounced around singing Shake It Off at the top of your lungs when you were alone.

No? Just me then? Liars.

I’ve been asked what it is about Sims3 that I like so much. The truth is… I have no idea.

After a long day I like to sit in front of my PC, listen to random repetitive happy music and build shit.

I like to build houses from scratch but I also like to try revamp the shitty houses already there without changing too much of the structure.

I like to decorate the rooms and I like to create random virtual people.

Sometimes I’ll make my Sims do keg stands and get them “Super Juiced” then I just let them loose on society and see what they do.

Although I’ve realized they generally just end up streaking down the road.

So yes, I play Sims. I make virtual people, I give them virtual pets, I build them virtual houses and then I control their lives. Nope, I’m not emotionally attached to any of them. If I get bored of a sim I delete them as easily as I created them. (Reading that back to myself, I feel like maybe I should talk to someone.)

Building shit relaxes me and I usually have a great night sleep without the troubles of the real world infesting my brain before bed.

Also, are you sure you have never jumped around singing Shake It Off? Have you heard it? Click HERE and go watch the video. That shit’s funny man.

We have the same dance moves.

The Ennnnnnnd.

RUDE!

So sitting at my desk doing my thing when my phone rings.

I answer and it’s my younger sister…

Tracy: “Hey Terri, guess what!”

Me: “What doll?”

Tracy: “Linkin Park are coming back to South Africa!”

Me: “WHAT?! NO WAY! SERIOUSLY?! YOU LIE!” (Insert extreme excitement)

Tracy: “Yup. April Fools.”

Me: “Fuck you.” *hung up*

What an awful thing to do to your loving sister! Get her all excited her favorite band is coming back to her country and then snatch that immense happiness away in one foul sentence. Just RUDE!

Here is a picture of Chester Bennington in his Ink Not Mink campaign for Peta to help ease the pain guys.

I Ripped My Pants

Hello Friends,

So I know I have not posted on my blog in a while but to be honest I didn't really have much to say but I figured why not tell you about my eventful morning.

While walking to the kitchen at work this morning to make a delicious cup of Instant Human, I entered into a conversation between my boss, a technician and a friend of mine. They were discussing the sumo squats my friend had done the night before, when my boss and our tech asked "What are Sumo Squats?"

Now I was feeling super confident with my sumo squat abilities having just done them this morning for a Squat Challenge I had entered into with some derby friends. So I decided to demonstrate what a Sumo Squat looked like...

*Insert Ripping Sound*

I ripped my pants... Not just a little rip... Nooooo... A rip from my knee right up to my butt. It was breezy, funny and should have been humiliating but I was a little distracted by all the laughing.

I am now walking around my office in a lovely white button down shirt and exercise pants.

Today's life lesson is:
Don't do Sumo Squats in work pants.


If you don't know what a Sumo Squat is, here you go:

Ok, that's all.

I forgot my phone at home.

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I am phone-less. 

Not going to lie, I don’t like this feeling.

When I realized I had left my phone on my bed, I had a little emotional breakdown.

This had nothing to do with “How will anyone contact me” or “What if there is an emergency.” No, my emotional breakdown was “OH MY GLOB! MY TAMAGOTCHI IS GOING TO DIE!” Yup, my heart sunk into my stomach and my mind began to race because my virtual pet might just starve to death!

Now I know what you are thinking… It’s a virtual pet, it’s not going to die. It’s just going to reboot but you are wrong! Essentially everything my pet is at this time in its life will be erased and a new pet will be issued. So yes, my pet is going to DIE!

Moo the cat will be lost. How can I justify starting again with a new pet knowing full well I've murdered my old one. So this is it, if Moo is dead when I get home. I will lay him to rest and no more virtual pets for me.

I’ll miss that happy little cat with his love for gingerbread men, playing climb the tree and his smiley face poop.

I hope he doesn't die. I don't even have a picture of him. So here is a Honey Boo-Boo gif instead.

That’s all.

UPDATE:

Moo is alive and well! YAY!
Here is a picture:

WHYYYYYY?!

Hello Internet Friends!

Why is it when you wake up on time in the morning you are always late but if you wake up late you are somehow magically on time? 

I think it's because when you wake up on time you're all "Yeah! Winning! I'm just going to stroll around and ... OH MY GOD I'M LATE!" and when you hit the snooze button a billion times, you suddenly realize you've over slept and wake up in a flat panic. You jump out of bed like a ninja and then proceed to ninja shower, ninja dress, ninja make up... No, wait that doesn't sound right. You know what I mean. Anyway, you suddenly end up with time to pack your lunch and have a coffee before you have to leave for work. (or is that just me?)

I woke up on time this morning and didn't hit the snooze button on my alarm once. I've done this enough times to know it's a trap, so I proceeded to get ready for work with one eye on the clock at all times. (You're picturing that now aren't you.) Then it happened... "Where are my pants?" Yup. I've lost my pants. I could not for the life of me find any of my work pants. It's like they grew legs and walked away... No wait... They already had legs... WHY IS THIS SO CONFUSING! After searching through every item of clothing, just to make sure I'm not going mad, I was late and had nothing to wear.

Irritated with the entire situation, I managed to throw together an outfit that was not entirely useless, apply the most pathetic attempt at make up the world has ever seen (I put mascara on... That's all... Just mascara.) and managed to grab something for lunch while literally running out of the house.

I made it though. I was at work on time. OOOOOOH YEEEEEAAAAAAAH! (insert awkward dance moves)

My day moved along pretty calmly and when I looked up from my PC again it was time to eat! YAY! So I went to the kitchen to see what I had packed for lunch. (I knew it was something along the lines of tuna but I was in such a rush this morning I couldn't remember what it was.) For some reason, in my chaotic state this morning, I had grabbed a tin of tuna. (YES! It was tuna.) That's it though, just a tin of tuna and I had put it in a lunchbox. SERIOUSLY! I took a closed tin of tuna and put it in a lunchbox. What was I thinking this morning? In my mad rush did I think to myself "What if the processed dead fish inside this tin decides it wants out and smashes it's way out of a sealed tin, yup, better put it in a lunch box." Early morning Terri what is your dysfunction?! I kind of forgive myself because Pre-Coffee Terri is a bit useless but still... A tin of tuna in a lunchbox!

After seriously doubting my ability to be a human in the morning, I made my way to the shopping center across the road from my office to buy everything else I needed to make my tin of tuna into an actual meal. This was a fun and odd time... Fun because I got to stretch my legs and have a little walk around... Odd because while waiting to pay for my lunch stuff, I stood behind a guy who was flexing his muscles and checking himself out. In public. Not like a little flex and check my pecks... No this was a full on Johnny Bravo check my pecks moment and he didn't care that there were people looking at him with blank expressions on their faces, nope he was too busy checking himself out.

Get back to the office, only realize we have no tin opener. Seriously?! The one thing I grabbed from home for lunch and I can't open it. I then proceeded to skillfully open the tin with a knife... Apocalypse style! Oh yes! I'm prepared I can open a tin of tuna with nothing but a knife and sheer love for lunch. Plus I barely injured myself.

That's all. There was really no point to this post other than to tell you I'm useless in the morning before coffee and I don't know how to pack lunch.

Sorry for wasting your time.

To apologize here is a picture of Austin Carlile (Of Mice & Men) Oliver Sykes (Bring Me The Horizon) Kellin Quinn (Sleeping With Sirens) Vic Fuentes (Pierce The Veil) and Andy Biersack (Black Veil Brides) all wearing flower crowns:

Yeah, they are evil devil worshipers...

I have no words... OK, I have a few.

I for once in my life am battling to string a sentence together.

Some of you may have read my posts Moron of the day #9 and Did my post offend you? I wish I was sorry but I'm not. After posting on Friday afternoon my blog email whiskeyfromateacup@gmail.com kind of blew up.

'Did my post offend you?' very quickly became my most viewed post. Within two and a half hours it had 179 views and by the time I logged in on Sunday morning, it was well past that. After sitting on the floor with my laptop in absolute shock for a few minutes, I logged onto my blog email to see if anyone had written to me. I was not prepared for what happened next.

Yup... That was my reaction as well. TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY THREE EMAILS! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

To be 100% honest, I thought it was a prank. I did not believe 293 people had an opinion on my little rant about two silly little girls but they did!

Most of the mails were people agreeing with me and telling me how irritated they are with people like Rachel and Megan. 

Some were from people who were bullied growing up because they were different. The amount of people who went through this was shocking and made me weep for humanity. Here are some of the messages I've received from people:

I have not gotten to everyone yet but I promise if you haven't had a reply from me yet, it's on its way. There are so many emails and I have plenty to say to each of you.

So until you hear from me, thanks for your support and please don't hesitate to email again. I like reading your thoughts on my posts and life in general.

MKAY!

*Unrelated Fact: Buckingham Palace has 602 rooms.

Did my post offend you? I wish I was sorry but I'm not.

So I don't know if anyone has read my Moron of the day #9 yet but I received an email from Rachel's mate Megan... It was too good to keep to myself, so here you go:

So of cause I replied:

I haven't heard back yet.