Mother Nature is trying to Kill You #4

It’s been a while since I told you of some of the little and not so little things on our planet that could kill you. So I've found some new little nightmares for you. (Aren't I the best?)

Let’s talk about spiders!

We are all aware of how dangerous spiders are and have a general idea of which ones we should look out for. (Or is that just me?)

I know my previous posts have been about animals and volcanoes found all over the world, which has left a lot of people going “Wow, that’s frightening, at least there is an ocean between us.” Well, this time I decided to do something a little different. I’m going to tell you about some of the dangerous spiders found right here in good ol’ Africa. Our home. (And theirs)


Baboon Spider (Harpactirinae) - Tarantulas of Africa


In Africa they are known as Baboon Spiders, you may be more familiar with the name "tarantula". Baboon spiders are not the most venomous spiders but they can give a nasty bite and can be very aggressive. Victims will experience severe pain at the bite site, vomit and feel weak and dizzy. Baboon spiders are large and hairy, their body size alone can reach up to 3 inches. There are over 40 species of baboon spiders living in Africa. They live on the ground, build silk burrows and generally wait for their prey to amble by. Female baboon spiders can live up to 25 years and many people choose them as pets which is leading to a decline in their numbers.

A bite from a Baboon Spider

Darwin's Bark Spider (Caerostris darwini)

Darwin's Bark spider, lives and works in Madagascar, and some parts of South Africa. It is the architect of the largest web in the world. Webs are woven across entire rivers and span up to 30 square feet. In order to attain this astonishing size, the silk is twice as elastic as that of other spiders and considered to be the toughest biological material ever found. I've added this incredible spider to the "scary" list because I keep imagining what it must feel like to walk into one of these webs by mistake. (I'd break out the ninja skills!)

Button Spider (Latrodectus) or Black Widow

A particularly venomous species, the button spider injects a neurotoxin venom into its victims. You may be more familiar with the term, "Widow Spider" given the fact that the larger female kills her mate once she's had her way with him. Colouring varies from cream to black and many have red markings on their bodies. A bite from a female button spider (especially the black ones) has the capacity to kill a child and seriously harm an adult. If bitten, the victim will be in a lot of intense pain, experience elevated blood pressure, muscle cramps and weakness in the legs. There are 6 species of button spider in Sub-Saharan Africa, from Madagascar to the Cape Verde Islands. (FUN!)


Ogre-faced Spider (Deinopidae)
(Ok, This one is not deadly but I thought it was quite fun, so here it is.)

The Ogre-faced spider is found throughout Africa. It's not venomous, nor particularly large, but its face can scare the pants off any grown up I know. This is a fascinating creature. It spins a web between its long front legs, stretches it nice and wide and then leaps down onto its victims to trap them in it. Marvel comics must have been inspired by this spider. (Spider Ogre, Spider Ogre, Does whatever a Spider Ogre does. Can he swing from a web? Yeah, I'm sure he can.)



Six-Eyed Sand Spider (Sicarius)

 The six-eyed sand spiders' Genus is Sicarius, which is Latin for "murderer" A strong hint that this is a toxic beastie. One bite can kill a rabbit in just a few hours. While there are no recorded cases of human fatalities, this is one spider you should avoid. The six-eyed sand spider lives in desert areas in southern Africa, like the Kalahari desert. It's sometimes called the crab spider because it moves like a crab. It buries itself in the sand and waits for its victims to wander by before it strikes. The venom of the six-eyed sand spider is hemolytic/necrotoxic, which causes blood vessel leakage, (EEEEW!) tissue destruction and multi-organ breakdown. Luckily, this is one shy spider.

Jumping Spider (Evarcha culicivora)

Jumping spiders are common household spider who stalk their prey rather than weaving a web. The Jumping spider apparently has such an affinity for human blood, it shows a strong preference for female mosquitoes who are filled with the stuff. While it doesn't have the mouth tools necessary to jump on humans and feast directly, the idea of a vampire spider who likes the taste of human blood, is scary enough. I have had a few encounters with these bad boys (with scars to prove it) and believe me it is no fun at all. My younger sister recently had surgery because of a bite from these buggers. So yeah, I kill them on sight and feel no sympathy for it.

Jumping Spider bite after two days

Violin Spider (SICARIIDAE: LOXOSCELES)

Not going to lie, when I first read about the Violin Spider, I had nightmares and anything that resembled a small light brown shape in my house got squashed. More often than not it was fluff but I wasn't taking a chance. (I still squash any small brown thing, just in case.)
This is one frightening spider and what makes it worse is they are all over our country. (Now we know how Australians feel about almost every living creature in their country.) 

Violin spiders usually live in grassland and in caves with only one species introduced into houses on the Witwatersrand. Violin spiders are nocturnal and at night may find their way into clothing, beds and shoes. To date no anti-venom has been produced, and although no death has been reported in Southern Africa, plastic surgery is sometimes necessary to repair tissue damage. Violin spiders are usually brown or reddish brown in colour, with dark markings on their bodies. They often have characteristic violin-shaped markings on the cephalothorax and are quite often confused with daddy-long-legs, which are not venomous.

Violin Spider Bite

So that's all I have to say about that.

Here is a video of a Tiny Birthday For a Tiny Hedgehog with his Hamster friends. Watch it and feel better about life.

Down & Derby #3

Durban vs Damsels:

Dear Diary… Just kidding!

So as a few of you might know, this weekend the Slam Damsels made the trek from Johannesburg to Durban to play us Derbynites in a first ever Inter-league Bout! (SAAAAY WHAAAAT!?)

Yes that is correct, this weekend we made history baby!

This is kind of how my day went:

Around 12ish everyone rocked up at the hall to get stuff set up. 

I was late because I was magically stuck in my boyfriends room and couldn't get out… I know what you are thinking but NO! He wasn't even home. A gust of wind had slammed the door shut and broken the lock mechanism on the inside. Jarred had to come home to rescue me and eventually just cut straight through the lock to get me out. (Thank God for engineer boyfriends!)

I arrived at the hall, pale and nauseous, just in time for our off skate warm up/adrenalin dump. Once we were all warmed up and a little more at ease, we headed back into the hall and started to kit up for our bout. (I had to pee three times in the space of 10 minutes. Nervous much?)

We did an on skate warm up, headed to our team chairs in the middle of the track and waited for the bout to start. Suddenly I was no longer nervous but excited! So excited I needed to pee again!

Warm Up Vibes:

Kit Inspection Time:

The Refs, Slam Damsels and Durban Skaters all had their turn to skate around the track and were introduced to the crowed.

Our FanFlippingTastic Refs for the bout:

The Awesome SLAM DAMSELS:

And the ever so Fab DURBAN SKATERS!

The first line up was on the track and with a loud shriek of a whistle the school of big knocks was in session and the Durban girls were drooling for more hits from the Damsels who we absolutely adore and respect. 

This is kind of what I felt like inside while playing a team as rad as the Damsels:

And here is what we ACTUALLY looked like: (photos by: Blair Austin. For more pics, check out the Durban Derby Facebook page.)

Victory went to the Slam Damsels and we enjoyed every single second of skating with these epic woman. I personally learnt a heck of a lot from them and I’m so proud of all my bruises!

Click on SLAM DAMSELS to like them on Facebook. As always you can like DURBAN DERBY and THE MISSFITS by clicking on their names as well.

After a little photo shoot, hugs & loves from our spectators and a little warm down. We un-kitted, cleaned up the hall and headed home to shower.

We then headed down to Live The Venue for a little fundraising for the Team ZA girls and a party on skates.

The fundraising was awesome and the bands were EPIC! Our very own MissFits coach Andrew “Hugh Janus” Stent rocked out like a maniac with his band Habit To.

We met awesome people and may have recruited a few guys and girls to come skate with us.

I even met my first official fan. YAY! A lovely young guy named Jonathan asked if he could take a photo with me because he saw me skate and thought I was awesome. I think he saw me hit one person in front of him and remembered my name BUT I’ll take it! Hahahahahahaha!

After the bands were done and the fundraising was over, both my sisters, our friend Quan and I (along with all of my kit and luggage) piled into my sisters car and headed to our friendly 24 hour McDonalds and then home.

What a flipping rad weekend!

Down & Derby #2

ROLLER DERBY BABY!

As many of you know, I have been taken in by the most amazing full contact sport in all the lands. If you were unaware of my eight wheel obsession, where have you been? Go back and read my blog posts again!

If you are too lazy to look through my blog to find out what this derby thing is... Well just click on "DOWN & DERBY" and read my old post. (Aren't I so sweet, linking shit up for you and stuff)

Now you have a basic understanding of roller derby (admit it, you want to know more.) So, I'm going to tell you a little bit about Durban Derby, my team The MissFits, the future of Mens League and our latest and greatest Team ZA!

So Durban Derby was founded in 2012 by Michelle “Kraken” Murray and Cara “Riot Grrrl” Munroe after moving to Durban from Johannesburg where they first played derby. The league began with a handful of girls and has continued to grow since then. Between Roller Girls, Roller Boys (oh yes boys! You can derby as well.) Refs, Management and Coaching Crew, we have turned into a huge family of around 50 people, which is a heck of a lot for a sport which only hit Durban two years ago.

Click HERE to watch a doccy about Durban Derby by some awesome peeps from the School of Journalism and Media, Rhodes University. They did a flipping rad job and it's definitely worth a watch to get the general vibe of who the skaters/teams are in Durban. JUST GO WATCH IT!

I am also SUPER proud to say we have two girls from Durban Derby who have been selected for the national team and will be taking part in the Roller Derby "Blood & Thunder" World Cup being held in Texas this year! So excited! Team ZA is comprised of some of South Africas best skater girls and I for one feel a great sense of patriotic pride whenever the team is mentioned, like anyone should. This is the first time an African team will be taking part in the Roller Derby World Cup! EVER! That shit's exciting!

You can go check out our AWESOME Team ZA girls HERE or go read about the Blood & Thunder world cup HERE

If you are in Durban this weekend (15/11/2014) and maybe want to meet some of our lovely Team ZA girls then pop into Live The Venue on Saturday evening at around 8pm for the TRACK GRRRLS fundraiser! Meet the Durban Derby/MissFits/Eves Skaters as we roll around on eight wheels selling shooters to all you party animals! With awesome bands, epic skaters and general rad vibes R40 pre-sale and R50 at the door is not much to ask for... Plus all proceeds go to helping Team ZA get to Texas in December because SHIT IS EXPENSIVE! If you would like to make an additional donation towards getting our girls to Texas, we won't complain... So come party with us!

Now you know a little about Durban Derby, The MissFits and Eves Kanevils, click on the team/league names and LIKE us on Facebook. 

Durban Derby is also working on starting a mens league (see boys, I said you can derby) It's still early days but with the quality of men skating at the moment, you just know this is going to go far! So if you are a guy and are interested in derby, go like our facebook pages or hit up your closest derby girl/boy for more information on practices and fresh meat intake. (Don't really hit them because they hit back.) Then just show up and fall in love with derby. It's that simple.

The MissFits shoot before our last bout against the Eves Kanevils.
Rocking the Purple Leopard Print because we're awesome!

My team The MissFits are ridiculously fanflippingtasic geeks who love rainbows, unicorns and llamas. We have a theme song for EVERYTHING and are not afraid to break out in song wherever we are.
Our team colors are black and purple leopard print (which I'm sure you already figured out) Here is a little break down of our uniforms:

Hope this has given you a little insight into Derby in Durban. Hope to see you at the next fresh meat intake for new skaters! Like our page, come to our events and most importantly lace up your skates!

I Say Ol' Chap... It's Been A While:

Friends, Romans, Countrymen... And other entities, here's a little catch up on what has been going down in my life.

So, I spent a great deal of my time as an unemployed citizen of South Africa being an absolute total bum. Which turns out is not as fun as I thought it would be, in fact its actually quite boring. Everyone is off to work and moving forward in life while you are kind of just stuck. You don't move forward, you don't move anywhere, you just stop and then nothing. It sucks major!

BUUUUUUUUUUUT...

After seven months of having nothing to do when I woke up in the morning, I HAVE A JOB! YAY! Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am an employed functioning member of society again. Oh man, paying taxes has never been so satisfying... I'm so excited I have dinosaurs in my tummy (butterflies are for the weak)

One upside to not having a job: I was lucky enough to spend as much time as I wanted with my gorgeous nephew... He is the cutest human in all the lands and anyone who says otherwise will be slapped. In the face. With a roller skate.

So my new job is working for an IT company and it is flipping rad! Finally humans I understand. Nerds and geeks all on different levels but all the same. Aaaahhh... These are my people.

I haven't known them for long but I adore our technicians and I think they are warming up to me... After all, they can finally speak to me and are starting to actually hold a conversation with me. Like real people. Just kidding! (but seriously)

In other amazing news:
I have a boyfriend! Oh yes... I have an amazing boyfriend who I love like a fat kid loves cake. (mmmmm Cake.) He is amazing. We have been dating for the better part of a year. I'm generally happy but he makes me happier. Like Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows kind of happy. What more could you ask for in a human?
BUT! More on this amazing human later.

I'm still loving Roller Derby. Our amazing team of rainbow llamas has grown and our new teamies are a perfect fit. What awesome people!
Also more about The MissFits (CLICK HERE NOW AND GO LIKE US!) and our amazing Team ZA later. There is waaaay to much to write about them... This post would go on for days! (DAYS SON!)

SO LET'S RECAP:

1. I have a job and my colleagues are epic.
2. My nephew is the best human ever.
3. I have a boyfriend and he's better than yours. Damn right he's better than yours. (I sang that.)
4. Roller Derby is the most amazing sport to ever hit the planet and you should join us for all of the awesome.

If this post about me was too boring for you... Here are some useless facts for your useless self. Read them and go away. I don't want to be your friend anymore:

- On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

- On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

- It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

- The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

- A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. 

- Pepsi originally contained pepsin, thus the name. 

- Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

- The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (Not surprised? Neither was I)

- "Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

- Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. 

- A snail can sleep for three years. 

- Honey is the only natural food that is made without destroying any kind of life. What about milk you say? A cow has to eat grass to produce milk and grass is living.

- The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

- Spiral staircases in medieval castles run clockwise. This is because all knights used to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand which was holding the sword because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs. Left-handed knights would have had no troubles, except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil.