Dear Students, you little f*ck tards!

Dear Students.

A few months ago when I found out the flat across the road from my house was converted into a student housing building, I became worried.

I was worried about the noise that awaited my nights.

To my surprise the students who occupied this building were kind considerate humans who would make sure by nine pm and latest 10pm any noise they may have been making (which was hardly any), be it having friends over or playing music had stopped. The building became silent even though there were still students sitting in the garden, they made no noise what so ever. They were the perfect neighbors.

Now they have graduated (I’m assuming) and new students have moved in… Sigh… You guys. How I miss the old ones.

You my new neighbors are the worst. You play your terrible excuse for music as loud as possible and then proceed to “talk” (more like scream) at each other over the volume of the music. Here is a great idea… Turn it down and then you can actually hear each other.

At ten o’clock at night!

So by two in the morning I was pissed off, tired and grumpy. So I did what any grumpy neighbor would do. I phoned the cops. YES! That was me you little sh*ts!

The police arrived around an hour later (even though their station is 5 minutes away go f*cking figure!) and we had total silence finally.

Less than twenty minutes later…

MORE FU*CKING NOISE AND MUSIC!!! ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME YOU F*CKING RETARDED EXCUSES FOR HUMAN FLESH!!!

What is your dysfunction you stupid little f*ckers?

So I phoned the cops AGAIN!!! When they eventually dragged their overweight lazy asses out to tell you f*cking morons to shut the f*ck up again it was FOUR F*CKING A F*CKING M!!!

Then while leaving my house early this morning to go to work with no sleep and only caffeine to help me through this Monday, your little student housing building was silent. Not a sound from anyone.

I’m assuming this is because you have classes this afternoon and had to get some sleep because you know… Everyone needs sleep to function. (Please read that as sarcastically as possible.)

So here is how this is going to go down from here on out.

You keep me awake all night again and I will phone every police station in Durban and complain about the noise. I have nothing better to do… Was going to sleep during that time anyway.

You will have cops at your door every half an hour if I have anything to say about it.

If you still insist on being little tw*ts, I will have a chat to a few of my scary tow truck driver friends (Yup, I know some dodgy scary ass people) who have some insane sound systems in their trucks and I will ask them kindly with delicious brownies, to park outside your flat at six in the morning and play their music as loud as they please.

You will not sleep.

You will never sleep.

Ever.

Again.

So do yourselves a favor and when it gets to nine/ten pm do what every other civilized human being would do and shut the f*ck up.

After all it’s an actual law.

Regards,

Your exhausted neighbor.

*I'm done ranting but this is far from over.

MY IPOD!

Hello Internet Buddies!

So happy, last night my missing iPod suddenly showed up again in my life. YAY!
Around 3 years ago, I misplaced my iPod and no matter how hard I searched, I could not find it. It was a very sad time and after it had been missing for over a year, I kind of gave up hope of ever seeing my charcoal black beauty again.

Last night while sitting on my bed playing with my laptop, my sister walked up to me with my long lost iPod in her hand and asked (in a very nonchalant tone) "Do you even use this anymore?"
I think I nearly cried from pure joy... I'm pretty sure I didn't even use words in response, it was more of a high pitched squeal followed by some serious hand clapping... I'm pretty sure I must have looked like a seal on acid.

After plugging it in and letting it charge for a while, I turned that baby on and went through my taste in music from 3 years ago.
Not going to lie, that shit was amazing. I did goooood.

I'd give you a list but it's 160gigs worth of music, so no. Here is a video of a BABY MONKEY RIDING A PIG BACKWARDS instead. (hahahahaha look at it!)
Seriously go watch it. Don't thank me though. 
Thank you Tannith for showing me this fantastic video!

I like that shit #7

Humanity: “You play SIMS?!” (Insert shock and horror)

Me: “You DON’T?!” (Return the shock and horror)

Yes people, I’ve heard it a thousand times. “Sims is so stupid.” “That’s not a real game.” “But pears are delicious.” Ok that last one was 100% unrelated but I really hate pears.

You think it’s stupid, most people who haven’t played it think it’s stupid, I know I was one of you, once upon an expansion ago.

The truth is, it’s actually kind of fun. Before you all decide to burn me at the stake for liking something you don’t and not being scared to admit it. Think about your shameful little pleasures in life no one can know about, now imagine how easy everything would be if you just admit you like things others find stupid.

I don’t want to live in a world where everyone likes the same old shit and no one dares to sing along to Taylor Swift for fear of the judgement. Be honest. You’ve bounced around singing Shake It Off at the top of your lungs when you were alone.

No? Just me then? Liars.

I’ve been asked what it is about Sims3 that I like so much. The truth is… I have no idea.

After a long day I like to sit in front of my PC, listen to random repetitive happy music and build shit.

I like to build houses from scratch but I also like to try revamp the shitty houses already there without changing too much of the structure.

I like to decorate the rooms and I like to create random virtual people.

Sometimes I’ll make my Sims do keg stands and get them “Super Juiced” then I just let them loose on society and see what they do.

Although I’ve realized they generally just end up streaking down the road.

So yes, I play Sims. I make virtual people, I give them virtual pets, I build them virtual houses and then I control their lives. Nope, I’m not emotionally attached to any of them. If I get bored of a sim I delete them as easily as I created them. (Reading that back to myself, I feel like maybe I should talk to someone.)

Building shit relaxes me and I usually have a great night sleep without the troubles of the real world infesting my brain before bed.

Also, are you sure you have never jumped around singing Shake It Off? Have you heard it? Click HERE and go watch the video. That shit’s funny man.

We have the same dance moves.

The Ennnnnnnd.

RUDE!

So sitting at my desk doing my thing when my phone rings.

I answer and it’s my younger sister…

Tracy: “Hey Terri, guess what!”

Me: “What doll?”

Tracy: “Linkin Park are coming back to South Africa!”

Me: “WHAT?! NO WAY! SERIOUSLY?! YOU LIE!” (Insert extreme excitement)

Tracy: “Yup. April Fools.”

Me: “Fuck you.” *hung up*

What an awful thing to do to your loving sister! Get her all excited her favorite band is coming back to her country and then snatch that immense happiness away in one foul sentence. Just RUDE!

Here is a picture of Chester Bennington in his Ink Not Mink campaign for Peta to help ease the pain guys.